Change

I was influenced to discuss about change because I was inspired by one of my close friend’s current situation.  What is change?  A source defines it as inequitable, not a respecter of persons.  A random dictionary affirmed change as for the better or for the worst, depending on where you view it.  Alternatively, we can go back to the evolution, Charles Darwin’s definition, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent but the one most responsive to change.”  However, let us not steer that far I read once about change, claiming it as a beautiful thing.  It got me thinking, If change is such a beautiful thing and despite its innate beauty, why is it that it's one aspect of life that many people resist?  

There are some people, however, that can easily embrace change while others will do everything in their power to prevent it.  My friend’s story was the latter.  It doesn’t matter how much you try to influence the person, ultimately it all starts within the person and it all boils down to a matter of perception. This is the dilemma that I am currently trying to  fathom.  To be candid, I’ve had problems with change myself.   It took me a very long time to welcome a small change with open arms.  I suppose trying to help my friend view it as I did will be my new significant task.  I need to make my friend view change as a joyous thing.  Change is needed because if she remains in stagnation its almost equivalent to death.  Well maybe death is an extreme example to use in embracing change but it is something that we all will encounter eventually.

I need to somehow assured her that change is closely tied in to our own perception of it.  That change will always lead to something positive and good. Perceiving change in a negative way, I think is harder to deal with. Nevertheless, if an opportunity in change presents itself, it is easier for us to change. I believe that reframing the change that happens to us is a powerful tool for managing change; it has worked for me in the past.  We have to constantly grow and adapt and that is the way of life.

One point that I learned to accept is that everything exists for a finite time and to resist that fact doesn’t change the reality that some change is necessary.  Now, the sooner she realize to accept the fact that nothing lasts forever, she is better equipped for the journey. Struggles will occur, I didn’t say it will be an easy ride but we usually flounder when we resist reality. So the best way to come to grips with is to enjoy the good times while you can and remember that the not so good times are just temporary. The light will appear at the end of the tunnel, it is bound to happen, just need a little patience.

Second point I can think of is learning to let go.  In my opinion, this is the hardest part to deal with because we all get too emotionally attached to someone, things etc.  Something that we grew old with and loved…for someone to suggest the idea that you need to let it go just doesn’t and will not be an easy task.  First relationship breakups, for example, has always been tough.  Why is that? Well, I think because the fear sets in, we don’t know what the future will hold.  We often ask ourselves if we will ever meet another person like the previous one.  We are scared and reluctant to change because its always been good and most importantly we have nothing to compare it with.  With these thoughts in our mind, general reaction is to repel change.  What do we do?  Again, acceptance about the length of time we have in our lives also helps in a profound way. We need to learn to treasure each moment because we may never know which is our last. When there is an infinite amount of time, we tend to take things for granted, but if we know, that time is short and limited, we treasure each moment more.  

Lastly, as I mentioned earlier, change will lead to something good.  When I cracked open a fortune cookie last week, after a nice meal, mine read, as what gives light must first endure burning.  This is so true; my interpretation of the light is it comes from letting go, which was my second point.  I say that it will always lead to something good but an effort to start and follow through the course of change is necessary.  How successful and positive this process in the long run depends on how we manage change that happens in our own lives. If we are ready to see the positives behind the need for change, it will lead to something good. If not, we will be constantly stuck in similar painful experiences until we have learned to change. Whether it leads to something good or not depends on our ability to get there.

In conclusion, change will not happen overnight.  When you’re faced with a life changing moment, take a deep breath and take it one step at a time. Change is a continuous process that we all need to experience.  Another fortune cookie says that Rome was not built in one day, neither are we.  (Have to stop eating fortune cookies ;p)